There’s nothing easy about confronting your mate when you find out they cheated. Tensions can easily get out of control. If your partner is lying to you, it can aggravate the situation even more. None of us are ever prepared for these moments, so we often do or say the wrong thing in a burst of emotion, because we often do not know what to do about a cheater.
But much of what occurs in a confrontation depends largely on the intensity you create when calling your guy or girl out. Thinking through the process before acting could produce the result you are looking for when searching for answers. Here are a few suggestions to make the ass-chewing less painful.
Wait Before Confronting Cheaters
Before storming off and beating down his or her door, give yourself some time to cool off and think through what just happened. By allowing your emotions to simmer, you can think clearly on how best to handle the head to head combat. You may want to wait for the perfect time and place to talk. By regaining your composure, you now have time to ensure that you say and do the right things.
Get All the Facts About the Cheater
Believe it or not, there are such things as misunderstandings, and coincidences. It’s always counterproductive to launch an assault on your other half and then have to retract later, because the 7th-hand information you received wasn’t as reliable as you once thought. Before you break the news to your partner, make sure you have as much information as possible.
The more you know, the more you can control the conversation. Knowledge gives you leverage you need to get to the bottom of the affair. It also give you credibility to backup the accusation. If you’re wondering right now if your guy or girl is cheating on you, read this article to look more closely at the warning signs of an affair.
Do Not Appear Desperate or Weak
There may be a time when you grieve the loss of your relationship, but that time is not now. Having a reign on your emotions is crucial. It is important to give off the vibe that despite how much it hurts, you are strong, you are confident, and you are in control. Rather than begging him or her to stay and to work things out, you need to let your cheating mate know that the future of the relationship lies in your hands now. If you appear desperate, then it will open the door for exploitation.
Minimize the Drama
Sometimes we feel that being right or being victimized gives us a license to act out of control and tell the whole world when we’ve been mistreated. When we do this, however, the negativity is now focused on us, and not our cheating boyfriend or girlfriend.
Now is the time to act dignified and mature. Draw as little attention to the affair, and yourself as possible. This simplifies the whole situation and allows you to maintain control over the dynamic of it. Spouting off, getting all your friends involved, and creating a whirlwind of drama will only worsen the situation and hurt you in the process. Remember, in the eyes of many, your cheating partner is already the town idiot. You don’t want them saying the same of you.
When to Tell Your Cheating Partner
There is no right time or place to engage in an argument about infidelity. The ideal environment, however, can provide uninterrupted conversation for an extended period. Pick a neutral place where no one has any distinct advantage or leverage. Stay away from any location where either of you could cause a scene.
And last, talk face to face. A phone conversation or Facebook message won’t resolve the problem. Your mate needs to look you in the eye, tell the whole truth, apologize, and then sit back and await your response. Give yourselves time and space to hash it out regardless of the outcome.
If you make the decision to stay with your love, it’s important that you both understand the your relationship has now taken on a new meaning and paradigm. This article on how cheating changes your relationship
provides some valuable insight, that might help your relationship recover.